The Mormon Trad Wife is Dead…

I was a trad wife for 20 years. It almost killed me.

I have a picture of myself from 1997. I’m showing it to you because I want you to see what playing small actually looks like — what suppressing your voice does to your body, and what living someone else’s dream costs.

Yep. That’s me. Trad wife. Mormon mother. Doing everything “right.” Miserable. Depressed. Buried alive in a body I didn’t recognize and a life I didn’t want.

The Turning Point

Today, I’m the same person, but my life is completely different. What changed? I stopped pretending.

I loved my grandmother. I wanted to be just like her. I thought she was the perfect wife and mother. That was the goal. I got married at 19, had children immediately, and devoted myself to building a picture-perfect life.

The problem? I was never happy.

I gained weight. I was depressed. My voice, my music, my dreams — they were buried. At 32, I finally recorded three songs, but when I excitedly shared them with my husband, he said: “I’ve already learned to live without you.”

I packed up my dreams and returned to being a mother and wife because that’s what I was “supposed” to do.

Meeting Jack and Reclaiming My Voice

Five or six years later, I met Jack. Together, we started a business. I finally got to use my voice in a different way — building, creating, leading.

And yesterday, my first song officially dropped on Spotify and Apple Music: “You Think I’m a Feminist?”

This is me. Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Saying every single thing I want to say.

What I Learned

I don’t regret my kids or the years I spent raising them. But I do regret:

• Suppressing my voice for 20 years

• Gaining weight because I swallowed my truth

• Living in depression because I was pretending

• Giving up my dreams because someone else couldn’t handle me shining

The trad wife life nearly killed me — slowly, quietly, from the inside out, until I didn’t even recognize myself.

I’m No Longer Trad

I’m a wife, a mother, a grandmother — yes. But I’m also:

• A songwriter

• A spiritual teacher and psychic medium

• A channeler of The Blue

• A woman who says exactly what she thinks

I’m not the woman my grandmother was. I’m not the woman the Mormon church wanted me to be. I’m not the woman my first husband needed me to stay small for.

I’m ME — loud, unapologetic, fully alive.

To Every Woman Who’s Been Told to Shrink

If you’re feeling that familiar ache — the one that says “There’s more to me than this” — listen to it.

You’re not bad. You’re not ungrateful. You’re not selfish for wanting MORE than what you were told you’re allowed.

You’re awake. And the world needs you awake.

Use your voice.
Write the song. Start the business. Leave the marriage. Quit the job. Speak the truth. Stop pretending to be something you’re not.

It might cost you people. It might cost you approval. It might cost you the life you thought you were supposed to have. But it will save you. And when you let all that go, you’ll be amazed at what takes its place.

I’m 54. My song just dropped. And I’m just getting started.

The trad wife is dead. Long live the queen.

— Mama Tiff
Spiritual Teacher | Channeler of The Blue